A Quiet Question: What Truly Matters to You?

For most of us, the word “priorities” floats around in the background of our days. We know we have them. We try to honor them. But we rarely stop long enough to ask ourselves, What is truly important to me? And am I living in a way that reflects that?

Years ago, when I was working with my first executive coach, he gave me a simple assignment: 

write down your values.

I remember thinking, Easy enough.
But the moment I sat down with pen and paper, something shifted. I didn’t want to answer quickly. I wanted to answer honestly. And that required a kind of stillness I hadn’t allowed myself in a long time.

That small exercise opened something in me. I realized my values were love, family, independence, honesty, trustworthiness, continuous growth, respect, and humor. Seeing them written down made them feel real—like guideposts I had been carrying quietly, waiting for me to notice.

And then came the deeper reflection:
Am I living these values? Where am I aligned—and where am I drifting?

Once I had that clarity, I began noticing things I’d overlooked for years. I noticed the spark I felt after coaching a colleague. I noticed how energized I was when I helped someone grow. Those moments—tiny, almost ordinary—were pointing to something important. Eventually, they led me to my life’s work as a leadership coach.

So, I invite you to pause, just for a moment, and ask yourself:
What is important to me—right now, in this season of my life?

Imagine you’re many years from now, looking back on the life you’ve lived. What would you tell your younger self today? What would you be proud of? What would you wish you had done differently?

Often, we move through our days on autopilot—doing, producing, checking the next box—without noticing how we feel or whether our choices match what matters most. Life can slip into cruise control so quietly.

But here’s the hopeful part:
You can always choose again.
You can realign.
You can decide, at any moment, to live more fully into your values.

Clarity about what matters is a gift you give yourself. It’s a gentle turning toward the life you want—one decision, one moment at a time.

And because our priorities shift as we grow, it’s worth asking these questions every few years, or anytime you’re standing at a crossroads. They are an anchor when life feels uncertain and a compass when you’re ready for a new beginning.

What’s important to you—today?

Author’s Note:

This reflection is one of the many themes woven through my book, The Long Way Here—a collection of short stories about resilience, growth, and the gentle turning points that shape our lives. My hope, in sharing both my own experiences and those from years of coaching, is to help you pause, breathe, and reconnect with what matters most to you.